“Some people in LDRs aren’t so lucky, however, especially if the separation lasts a significant amount of time. Guldner’s research shows that most couples tend to go through three phases of separation: protest, depression, and detachment. The “protest” phase can range from mild and playful—”Please stay”—to significant anger. Once an individual has accepted the separation, he or she might experience low-level depression, mostly characterized by slight difficulty concentrating, trouble sleeping, and the feeling of being a little down. “Unfortunately, that seems to be a reflex,” Guldner explains. “In other words, it persists. It continues with each separation and, in fact, sometimes worsens with each separation. There is very little one can do to prevent it.” Some people experience this in a more pronounced way than others.

In the detachment phase, each person begins to compartmentalize his or her life, breaking it down into the sections with a partner and the ones without. It’s an effective coping mechanism that allows the individual to be in a relationship while doing what has to be done—until the occasional moment of weakness, that is.”
[Source]

Put into words far better than I have been able to.

My day so far and it’s only 8:14.

I didn’t get to bed until late last night because sleep wasn’t coming to me. I wake up a few times in the night and toss and turn and then this morning my father wakes me up at 6:45. I fall back asleep but I had a back up alarm set for 7:05. I wake up, freak out because I fell back asleep, and throw on shirts and pants. I don’t even smoke. Dad and I rush down to the DMV

We get there and our friend Norman is there too so we all go up and get “in line” infront of the DMV doors. It’s like 7:20. We wait and wait and wait. Then at 5 till 8 the DMV guy comes out and lets us know the computers are down and wont be up for an hour, at least, but probably longer.

A woman comes out to answer questions and I already know I’m fucked. You can’t make an appointment to do something when the computers are down.

So we leave.

I don’t have an appointment for my driving test. My dad leaves in less than two weeks. I’m freaking out. My next day off is like FRIDAY. And I’m pretty sure they’re closed. So now I’m going to have to see if Dad will drive me back down there this afternoon so I can wait in line like two hours. fuck. FUCK FUCK.

Here’s the low down.

My best friend is pissed at me and while I have a vague idea why, I’m not entirely sure. And if she is pissed at me for the reason I think, she’s not actually justifiable in her reasoning, in my opinion.

My dad is leaving in two weeks to work in Sacramento area. For two months. I have two weeks to get my licence and a car together so I don’t lose my job.

This probably doesn’t sound serious to you, but it’s very serious to me.

OH. And now Mike is concerned that I’m not texting him when I’m out and about partying with my friends. Thanks for that one. I know you read this. He says it’s not checking in, I say it is.

The phone slips from a loose grip
Words were missed then, some apology
I didn’t want to tell you this
No, it’s just some guy she’s been hanging out with
I don’t know, the past couple weeks I guess
Well, thank you and hang up the phone
Let the funeral start
Hear the casket close
Let’s pin split-black ribbon to your overcoat
Well, laughter pours from under doors
In this house, I don’t understand that sound no more
Seems artificial, like a T.V. set

Well, haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
This weight it must be satisfied
You offer only one reply
You know not what you do
But you tear and tear your hair from roots
Of that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die
Well ha ha ha

I remember everything
The words we spoke on freezing South Street
And all those mornings watching you get ready for school
You combed your hair inside that mirror
The one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears
Something about those bright colors
would always make you feel better
But now we speak with ruined tongues
And the words we say aren’t meant for anyone
It’s just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance
But there was once you

You said you hate my suffering
And you understood
And you’d take care of me
You’d always be there
Well where are you now?

Haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
The plans were never finalized
But left to hang like yarn and twine
Dangling before my eyes
As you tear and tear your hair from roots
Of that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die

And I sing and sing of awful things
The pleasure that my sadness brings
As my fingers press onto the strings
In yet another clumsy chord
Haligh, haligh, an awful lie
This weight would now be satisfied
I’m gonna give you only one reply
I know not who I am

But I talk in the mirror
To the stranger that appears
Our conversations are circles
Always one sided
Nothing is clear

Except we keep coming back
To this meaning that I lack
He says the choices were given
Now you must live them
Or just not live
But do you want that?

[Listen]

Sometimes I wonder if this is how Mike feels.

I’m coming up only to hold you under
I’m coming up only to show you wrong
And to know you is hard; we wonder
To know you all wrong; we warn.

Really too late to call,
So we wait for morning to wake you
That’s all we got
And to know me as hardly golden
Is to know me all wrong, they warn.

At every occasion, I’ll be ready for the funeral
At every occasion, once more, is called the funeral
Every occasion, know I’m ready for the funeral
At every occasion, oh, one million day funeral

I’m coming up only to show you down,
For I’m coming up only to show you wrong.

To the outside: the dead leaves, they’re on the lawn
For they don’t have trees to hang their own.

[Listen]