Author: Amb A Sinner

Amb A Sinner https://ambasinner.wordpress.com If beauty is pain, violence is makeup.

Not forgotten, just misplaced

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I haven’t forgotten you silent listener. My thoughts betray my indifference.

I’ve come to another one those crossroads in life that have no easily determined right or wrong path. I could go one way, or I could go another. Of course there are so many small details that pull me one way and then pull me another. Do I stay where I am stable? Or do I jump into something that could potentially have the greatest rewards or most dire consequences? For now, I remain still. Trying not to face the fact that a choice will need to be made before I spread myself far too thing.

I don’t hate my job, but I hate that I don’t like it either. I think this is the plight of adulthood.. but it shouldn’t be. At least, I don’t believe it should be. However, everyone has to grow up eventually. I just didn’t expect to have to until I was 30. I can’t be a woman-child forever I guess. At least not on the out side.

It’s amazing how quickly everything can change. I say that so often that I feel my life is in a constant state of flux. I think everyone’s is though. One moment you know exactly who you are and what you want out of life and then the next moment your priorities are totally different and you’re at a loss at how to proceed. I love and hate it at the same time. But then, I am a masochist, so it is to be expected.

Quick Update

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I’m going to make this fast. I didn’t have internet for a month so quite few things have changed.

I got better! I’m not dead and I’m no longer sick. About 10 days into the illness it started getting better and I was working on day 13. I still don’t know what it was, and neither do my doctors, but it’s gone now.

I got a promotion! I now work in Aptos, California. I’m the Starbucks department manager inside of their Safeway.

I’ve also had my heart stolen. He’s bringing it to visit in a week.

I’m sick.

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I’m sick. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong with me. And it’s progressively getting worse. It’s not cancer, so don’t go all “I’ll pray for you” bullshit. But it’s definitely something gnarly. They think it’s mononucleosis. I go back in on friday for another blood panel and lymphnode count thing. It’s painful and shitty. I have proof:

Evidence #1
Evidence #2
(Hopefully those links work)

I’ve been bed ridden since Saturday. Ive been into work twice. The first time was on saturday to pick up a prescription for strep throat and tell them I couldn’t work for a day because I was contageous. On Monday, the day I was supposed to return to work, I still had a fever so I went back to the doc and turns out their ASSUMPTION that I had strep was indeed incorrect.

Five hours of suckage in the ER and now they’re GUESSING it’s Mono. They believe it’s too early in the sickness for it to be showing in my blood. Well awesome. I go back in on friday for similar treatment. Lots of needles stuck in my veins. Oh joy.

I very well could spend all this time sleeping but I feel like shit when I wake up. My dad is awesome for constantly providing me with my much needed energy drinks and otter pops.

I’ve been playing Zelda: Twilight Princess for my GameCube (that I got in oregon) and have been thanking Mike subconsciously for buying me the memory card while we were at GameStop. If I didn’t have a way to save my many days housebound would be quite pitiful.

I’ve also been reading Questionable Content nonstop. I’ve read up to #1298 in three days. Yes, it’s fucking a good webcomic. Yes, I highly recommend it to you. Especially since Faye is my comic alter ego. Haha Sort of.

I miss being outside. I miss my friends. I miss having a life. OMG I feel like the boy in the bubble. Did I mention that my internet could be getting turned off at any time? Lucky for me I worked for a week before becoming Typhoid Amber so I get paid tomorrow. Yes, a large chunk is going to comcast for my enjoyment.

Did I mention that if I have mono I’m out for six weeks? Hello disability.

I’ll probably just spend my checks on hookers and debauchery anyway.

A weeks worth of memories..

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I got home from Oregon today. From my last blog post forward my vacation managed to go a bit awry so I will keep it simple. And categorised.. sort of.

Day two in Monroe I again attempted to do the drinking thing. Jimmy and I head to Bugsys and continue the drinking escapade. It’s karaoke night and I’m stoked on it. Anyways, about 20 minutes before Karaoke starts my exhusband walks into the bar and it all goes down hill from there to say the least. I once again pursue Jameson (my black out in a bottle) and start drinking excessive amounts. I know I cried hard enough that night that my eyes were swollen the rest of the following day. That sucked. I never want to see Kyle Agard again. End of story.

The following day (now called puffy eye day) started well. Sort of. Kyle also crashed at my mothers house so I did my best to just keep on with my day. I worked a green horse for the better part of the morning. Said my goodbye’s to kyle. Then went to my cousins house. It was excellent to see Michael and Liz as they’re probably two of my best friends. Love those guys.

The day after that (thursday I believe) Liz and I go to my Aunts house.. where my grandma lived. No one was home. I went in, took a few items that no one else wanted but I absolutely did, and left.

Mike picked me up that evening and I spent the rest of my vacation with him. We picked up his homie Isaac from springfield on friday and proceeded to have a most excellent weekend of drinking and football.

There are some things I miss very deeply in Oregon and other things I never wish to face again. Hell of a vacation.

First Night in Monroe

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Yesterday was my first day/night in Monroe. The town I ran amuck in since the age of sixteen. I got here, drank a few beers, shit kicked it with my mama and then called some friends. The one partner in crime who was up to the challenge (as always) is Jimmy. He picks me up and we head to Alpine.

This was the first time I have ever been in the Alpine tavern as my usual haunts in this town were the longbranch and the corner stone. So we get to the Alpine tavern and the whiskey starts flowing. We play a few games of pool, and then the bar owner comes in and tells us they’re closing up soon. Locks the door and what not. So we get another round of drinks, smoke inside, and finishes up our pool game. We don’t pay our tab, because there is no tab. Free drinks winz.

From there we move on to Bugsy’s in Junction City. I had been in this bar once before and it was about as quiet as it was this night as well. But I like bars where only me and a handful of people are in it. So it worked. I made fast friends with the bartender (7A from now on. she has that tattooed on her). Apparently we were seperated at birth. 7A is cool

So we drink and bullshit and 7A asks me if I’ve ever had a Red Headed Slut. I laugh and say of course so she pours us, including herself, a shot. I ask her “How much do I owe you for this?” and she waves her hand and says nothing. I continue to drink like this for the rest of the night.

From the Red Headed Slut forward my memory gets a bit hazy. I know I started a game of pool with a hot guy who liked the Reel Big Fish song I had put on the juke box. I’m fairly certain I got disgusted with my playing abilities and decided I was better suited to drinking than to trying to actually achieve anything.

I don’t know how I got home. Jimmy Says that mike drove us home. He thinks.

I don’t remember leaving. But 7A texted me three times asking where I was going, and if I’m still alive. (yes I got her # haha)

I don’t remember taking my shoes off or climbing into the bed couch my sister made for me. My sister says I opened the door, saw her and was like “OH HEEEY. I’m fucking drunk.” then passed out. Sounds right.

So I would say night one was a success. Undeniably. Time to find something fun for day two.