Well I’m on day two of the induction phase of Atkins. If this shit doesn’t make me lose weight, I’m going to resort to something drastic. But I have faith. So far it isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I love all the food I’m allowed to eat, and only intaking 20g Carbs sounds harsh.. but it’s really not. Knowing that I’m proactively taking measures to get skinny again is really helping me avoid the alcohol, the soda, and everything else bad for me that I shouldn’t have been indulging in to begin with.

I got a little weight loss tracker.. now if only I can remember to update it. 😀

Maybe going out to dinner with Julian tonight. Not sure how that’s going to work since I work till 8:30 and he’s just coming home from Sac so he might be all tired.

I feel like I’m finally free from the fog. My thoughts are no longered scattered and I can focus. It’s wonderful.

Last night my friends kidnapped me and we all went to see The Hangover. I should say friends/coworkers, because  I work with every single one of them. The movie was great, but I think after all the hype I didn’t find it as funny as I would’ve had I seen it originally.

Yesterday was payday. Yayay. I went to ross and tried on some clothes, and every piece I grabbed didn’t fit. I was like WTF. Of course, one was too big and I didn’t understand how that happened.. fucking ross way to ruin my self esteem!

So I just went and bought two new pairs of sunglasses. Hahaha. Retail therapy is good, and I’ve decided I need to start buying myself a few fun things each pay check or I’m going to forget why I like to work. Staying on the sober wagon for more than a week seems to be an issue, but I’m definitely good on moderation, and no beer. Definitely no beer.

I’m a hypocrit. I give people advice, when I can’t even follow my own. I feel a little bit like a doormat, but I make myself this way. I’m lost and I just have to focus on that light at the end of the tunnel. I suck at communication. Seriously. I’m usually good at biding my time until an opportunity appears to broach a subject, but at this point I’m resigned to the fact that sometimes theres never a good time to say some of the things that need to be said.

Maybe I should just take things for what they are and not care any more than that. I wish I could just do that. I can’t seem to find a happy medium between emotion and indifference. My world is way too black and white. Fuck my life.