I had what can be described as a very surreal night. I can’t go into detail.. I’ve only managed to get my emotions in check. Logic wins out, but not my own. Here’s the highlights.

I spoke to Kyle.. he brought up the divorce. Of course. It needs to be taken care of as soon as possible. He demands I do it myself and forward him the papers, he tells me he’ll send me any amount of money I need. I ask if he’s willing to pay out why he can’t do it himself. Apparently thems are fighting words.

Our conversation escalates to him explaining to me that the reason he is mean to me, is so that I will fight back.. as I always do.. so that he can hate me. That him still loving me is ruining his life.

In the end I give him what he needs. We will not be speaking anymore. I will be doing seperation papers as soon as is possible.

I end up having some kind of melt down. I don’t know how else to explain. Emotion and Logic were fighting and I couldn’t figure out which one was right.. That sounds retarded, but I am only human.

Someone then arrives at my house to counsel me and now my resolve is set. Along with a many other things.

Day 1 of sobriety is a success. I did not end up drinking away my problems, even though I was under severe durress. There is hope yet.

So I just remembered I decided to embark on Project 365 at the beginning of the year and obviously failed as it is already june. Incase you’re curious what exactly Project 365 is well go here and it will tell you all about it. I take pictures all the god damned time on my phone so theres no reason why I can’t just start today instead of January 1st. I figure I’ll just take two pictures a day for the rest of the year… okay so at least one picture. 😀 Check out the links on the right.

.. Until I find a widget type thinger that will post thumbnails. They’re out there, I’m just too lazy to dick with it right now. 🙂

I’m sitting in san jose doing the same thing I would be doing at home and it’s okay. At least his chair is more comfortable. I’m not really bored but I’m also not really entertained. I kind of just want to lay out in the sun which I might do anyway, but then i think about it and change my mind. i feel like I drank too much last night but in all reality i drank much less than I usually do..

I think the fact that I consumed alcohol on an empty stomach is what got me. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.. I just never seem to get a meal in between work and friends. It’s rough. my tummy doesn’t like me right now.

I’m going to Dave and Busters tonight with a bunch of coworkers.. I basically got fandangled into it as I was going to opt out. It’s not that it didn’t sound fun, but just that I wasn’t willing to spend money on it. However, I had three of the five other people going tell me that if I didn’t go they weren’t going to go and I didn’t want to be the big kill joy for the one coworker who is planning everything. Blah. So at this point the plan is to drink and kick as much ass at video games as is possible. Except this time I will eat first.