life

Work work work!

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And not even paid work!

We’ve had a few sunny days here in the Willamette valley and my sister and I used one of them to tear off the paneling on one end of the Nomad. We needed to be able to see all of the water damage that the support beams had. It wasn’t as bad as my imagination lead me to believe but it was considerably worse than what you could see with the paneling up. I mean, it’s so bad that because we removed SOME of the paneling and the dinette it’s caused the trailer to sag. The door will not close completely.

M and I put tarps over both ends to keep water off the leaking windows so that’s helping any further damage from happening but we have to wait until it’s dry to actually start tearing out beams and replacing them with dry beams. It’s not something we want to have to stop in the middle.

I’ve also been playing with my feathers! If you follow my Instagram account you may have seen a couple pictures!

 

So far I’m pretty happy with my Beta testing of designs. I have a picture of my sister wearing the blue and black one but you will have to search through Instagram for it! So the pheasant feathers I imported from California.. as in my super amazing awesome Aunt sent them to me. She breeds exotic poultry. After receiving them I washed and dried them. The dyed feathers I purchased on Etsy (but I’m not going to tell you where because to be honest I was NOT pleased with my purchase and they’re dicks) and I’m fairly certain these dyed feathers came from a craft company.

They were tricky to make and I’ve never worked with wire before. Either way though for being the first time I’ve done it I’m pretty pleased with myself. I can only get better from here!

I still don’t have a job. Which is actually pretty OK. I am receiving unemployment which is helping pay for gas and other things while I search.

I’ve started dieting again. Except this time it’s not ketogenic. It’s just you know moderation. Go figure. We’ll see how it goes! My weigh in yesterday was 156lbs. Now I just need to hold myself accountable. It’s actually a lot easier with my sister holding me accountable. Hahaha.

Until next time! ❤

Welcome to bat country.. ?

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I’m on drugs. Lots of drugs. Prescription drugs though so I only feel a little bit like a junkie. It’s rough.

I’ve been having major back issues for about two months now. Work is being very inflexible and it’s only a matter of time before I’m terminated. Basically the next time I have to leave work early or miss a day. That’s when I will be terminated.

I digress, back to the drugs! I’m taking 5mg of valium three times daily. 3/325mg Norco (hydrocodone, vicodin, whatever you want to call it) as needed for pain but prescribed at every 4-6 hours. I’m also taking penicillin four times daily, but that’s because I’m going to be having a wisdom tooth taken out and they want to make sure there is no infection present. I was on prednisone but that prescription has run it’s course. I’ve now been referred to a neuro-spine doctor. Institute? I don’t know. It’s kind of bananas.

Not only am I not supposed to be driving while taking these meds, but it makes it really hard to be coherent. I work in a call center booking people’s vacations. I have to say though, the valium makes it really easy for me to never get upset when someone is yelling at me. So that’s a plus. The norco’s make me very ill though so that’s quite a pit fall.

M and I have put in our 30 days notice at our apartment. I’m still searching for a trailer I can turn into a guest house at my mothers place. It’s not going as well as I’d like it to, but when push comes to shove I wont be homeless if I don’t get it. M is working out of town and has housing provided by his employer. I have many relatives who have made it clear that I’m more than welcome to live with them if I need to.

I’m trying to be good with my blog! I always feel so much better after writing. Through the years I think my writing abilities have declined. Probably because my social life has become completely stagnant. I don’t have a digital camera anymore, so pictures aren’t as plentiful, and I never think about using my video camera because.. well.. I don’t actually have an excuse, but I never think about it.

I really really reeeeeally  want to get the WordPress.com premium upgrade. Domain name, full CSS access, space for photo’s and videos and fun shit. It would be so easy for me to justify it because “Oh man that would just make blogging so much more awesome!” and it would, but $99 is something I could be spending on, oh I don’t know, a place to live. Maybe I should start a fund raiser. Hah.

Am I Sinking?

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Am I? I might be. I think I am. I’m not floating. I’m not up above all of the day-to-day petty bullshit stress that used to just pass me by. I used to hear about people worrying about their bills. Rent. Electric. Internet? Not necessary. It’s not that I never had bills, but I was never 100% responsible for them. My rent was on time, I paid my part on time. Always. But, I always knew, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t all on me. Every single bill. For more than just me. You know what I mean? Even if it was on me, it was my shit. Not someone elses. Does that make sense? If I went with-out, well too bad. I will survive. But what if I’m the reason someone else goes without, someone who’s depending on me to be the responsible one.

It’s like, do you even know me? Do you see me? You think I’m responsible? I don’t care about my credit score. I don’t have a car payment. I don’t have credit cards that need to be paid monthly. If I don’t put money on my cell phone (Yes, I’m pre-paid because I don’t want a contract) then I just don’t have a phone. I’m ok with this. It doesn’t bother me. I sleep just fine at night knowing that someone might want to get a hold of me. It doesn’t effect me.

I miss Santa Cruz. I miss a simpler time. I miss living with my Dad. Why? Because he’s like me. Living mostly off the grid. I had a job so I had spending money and food. No rent, no electric bill, no internet bill. He didn’t have one either. I didn’t mooch off him. We had a fantastic partner ship. We lived well together. He worked on the farm we lived on and that paid our bills. He did his projects because he’s retired and enjoyed spending his time doing it. I lived with him because he didn’t like living alone. Does that make me a mooch? Maybe it does and I’m not realizing it.

I don’t think it does. He asked me to be there. I liked knowing my Father wasn’t living alone on some hill top.

Maybe my whole perception of reality has been horribly skewed because of the fact that I got to enjoy that time. Years of that.

I’m trying to get back to that. I just want a trailer in the woods on some property. Running water, a little electric, these things I can afford without being a slave. Another cog in the machine that doesn’t have an identity. I don’t have an identity. I got jury duty. Just another fucking number.

People have mid-life crisis’s. I’m 28. I’m too fucking young for this shit. I would rather be poor and happy. Happy and living a fulfilling life. Even if it’s poor, and I don’t have extra spending money, as long as I can get by and be happy it’s worth it. What’s the point of having a pocket full of cash if you never have time to spend it?

Retirement? Pensions? I’m the wrong generation for that.

I think I need to just get off the grid a while. Be the crazy lady with my garden and my cats, and dogs, and peacocks, and just dig in.

Yes, I think that’s what I’m going to do.

Tacoma

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Weird right?

Yeah so I live in Tacoma Washington now. Strange turn of events. Long story short: Applied for an apartment. Found out Nov 1st (while more than a bit hungover) we got approved, packed up that day, left Nov 2nd. Slept over in Portland. Arrived Nov 3rd. Now I live in Tacoma.

I haven’t found a job yet, but I’m looking. I finally broke down and applied to Starbucks. I’m qualified and I need a job. Like bad. LIEK WOAH.

Haha. Anyway, hopefully I will stop failing at my blog and start using it again. I like having it and I need to remember that.

Oh and here are some pictures because I need to start sharing.