oregon

Longest Week Ever!

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Good god, this has been a loooong week. This week I’ve:

  1. Driven to and from Redding, California. That’s 640 mi. +/-
  2. Broke down in Redding. Oh fun!
  3. Started my Ketosis diet. Think induction phase of Atkins.
  4. Started crocheting again. Hopefully I will have enough goodies by winter to sell at a craft show.
  5. Worked on my car and fixed ABSOLUTELY nothing. That was a disappointing day.

So there you have it. That’s my week in a nut shell. The drive to Redding was absolutely miserable. I’m never leaving the Willamette Valley again by driving, fuck that, fuck getting stuck anywhere, let alone the surface of the sun.

I’ve lost 4 lbs so far on Keto. I realize I should only weigh myself once a week on the same day but I couldn’t help it. I NEEDED TO SEE RESULTS. And I did.  I’m happy.

Onto Crocheting! I’m making hoodie/scarf things.. or at least I’m working on one at the moment. This one (instagram) is for.. UofO or Oakland A’s, or Green Bay Packers.. You see, I figure there’s a large market so if I push them as team colors instead of just “Green and Yellow!” I might have some luck making some $$$.

It finally cooled off down into the lovely mid-high 70’s here so I’m cleaning and having a fantastic day.

xoxo
Amb

I feel like such a stinker

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October 2012 was the day of my last blog update. My oh my his things have changed. And all so much so quickly I’m fairly certain that’s why I never got around to updating. It was just too much. A lot of emotional distress. We will leave it at that. M and I are engaged. We are now living in Oregon in the Willamette Valley. I have a job as a bartender here though I’m currently looking for a new place to work.

We’ve got a lovely two bedroom apartment and couldn’t be happier. Well I could be happier. New job would be great. Oh well.

I have no social life or friends to speak of here in Oregon and we all know what that means.. more internet time! So here I am. Trying to be a good blogger.

I’ve set the stage now I just need to use it.

xoxo
Amb

Boop

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I’ve had a hellacious five days. I don’t even want to begin divulging details about it because it’s simply too overwhelming and I know I will leave something to be desired. So I will simply say they were terrible, and leave it at that.

Yesterday was the long awaited Dentist Appointment to take care of my jaw infection. It took longer than expected to come up with the $500 I had to have up front in order to get it taken care of, but now it is all taken care of. I have a hole in my jaw and my mouth is sore but at least it will heal and all will be well.

I’m in a slump. Just in life. In general. I am not happy and I don’t really know why. I hate my job, colors seem dull and I really have no motivation to do anything. I feel like I’m 16 again. That was back when I was diagnosed with bipolar, and though I believed it to be a crock of shit over these last few years I wonder if perhaps it was not. I am depressed and I know it. I can’t seem to shake it. I don’t want drugs to fix it, I just want to be happy. I need to find something to be happy about, and that’s where I fail.

I will be visiting Oregon soon. That is definitely something I am looking forward to. My family is a source of happiness and I simply can’t wait to see my little niece Olivia. I will of course enjoy my time with Mike. He is also a constant source of happiness. But in general, I feel like my life has no purpose, no focus.. I have no goals, long term or short.

I don’t really know where to set my marker. I can’t really figure out what it is I want to do with myself. I just feel so.. lost.