pills

Welcome to bat country.. ?

Leave a comment

I’m on drugs. Lots of drugs. Prescription drugs though so I only feel a little bit like a junkie. It’s rough.

I’ve been having major back issues for about two months now. Work is being very inflexible and it’s only a matter of time before I’m terminated. Basically the next time I have to leave work early or miss a day. That’s when I will be terminated.

I digress, back to the drugs! I’m taking 5mg of valium three times daily. 3/325mg Norco (hydrocodone, vicodin, whatever you want to call it) as needed for pain but prescribed at every 4-6 hours. I’m also taking penicillin four times daily, but that’s because I’m going to be having a wisdom tooth taken out and they want to make sure there is no infection present. I was on prednisone but that prescription has run it’s course. I’ve now been referred to a neuro-spine doctor. Institute? I don’t know. It’s kind of bananas.

Not only am I not supposed to be driving while taking these meds, but it makes it really hard to be coherent. I work in a call center booking people’s vacations. I have to say though, the valium makes it really easy for me to never get upset when someone is yelling at me. So that’s a plus. The norco’s make me very ill though so that’s quite a pit fall.

M and I have put in our 30 days notice at our apartment. I’m still searching for a trailer I can turn into a guest house at my mothers place. It’s not going as well as I’d like it to, but when push comes to shove I wont be homeless if I don’t get it. M is working out of town and has housing provided by his employer. I have many relatives who have made it clear that I’m more than welcome to live with them if I need to.

I’m trying to be good with my blog! I always feel so much better after writing. Through the years I think my writing abilities have declined. Probably because my social life has become completely stagnant. I don’t have a digital camera anymore, so pictures aren’t as plentiful, and I never think about using my video camera because.. well.. I don’t actually have an excuse, but I never think about it.

I really really reeeeeally  want to get the WordPress.com premium upgrade. Domain name, full CSS access, space for photo’s and videos and fun shit. It would be so easy for me to justify it because “Oh man that would just make blogging so much more awesome!” and it would, but $99 is something I could be spending on, oh I don’t know, a place to live. Maybe I should start a fund raiser. Hah.

Wake Up Rage

Leave a comment

Recently when I wake up in the morning I have absolutely no recollection of my back injury until I try to sit up and I’m bombarded with pain. Those first few seconds are magical. However, as soon as I do try to move and the pain returns I’m instantly depressed.

I still have pain. I am still injured. I still have to take my pills.

I hate taking pills. I have a hard time tracking when I’ve taken them and I’m beginning to worry that I’ve been taking them so long that they’re losing their effectiveness.

I’ve been on pain killers and muscle relaxers for 11 days.  I don’t know how familiar any of you are with the side effects of pain killers but I’ve had to add ducolex to my daily regimen. So now I take 4-5 pills every morning instead of 2.

All I’ve been eating is garbage. I can’t go grocery shopping for lack of funds and my father doesn’t really buy real food. I’m bed ridden and eating pastries and cereal. I can feel my weight rising. I can’t even work out for fear of injuring my back further.

I’m just so tired of all this. I want to be healthy again.

Super sick! Take two.

2 Comments

I got my second prescription filled today. I had been slacking. You know, between working and being SICK OUT OF MY MIND.

Wait.

Let me tell you a story about today. It’s short I promise.

I walked to the bus today to get to work. It’s .4 mile away. Very quick. So I’m walking and halfway there the nausea hits me. (Thanks meds #1) and I’m like “Oh man, I do NOT need to be sick right now.” I keep walking. I’m almost puking when I get to the bus stop. WARNING GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION. You know where you’re like dry heaving but you keep your mouth closed, praying you are not going to start puking. That was me like 10 ft from my bus stop. END GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION. I stand there for maybe two minutes. Bus was early. I sit on the bus and whole time there I’m chanting to myself, “Please don’t puke, please don’t puke.” After I got used to the bus movement the nausea subsided. But then the walk between bus stop and work resulted in the same thing. Fun.

So! Today after work I got prescription #2 filled. This is the one with the gnarly alcohol side effects. Details? If I drink alcohol with it, even mouthwash, I will get projectile vomiting. Like, real life, exorcist vomiting. This Will Be Me. Enjoy that gem.

I said to the pharmacist, “Well that is just fucking great. I’m also taking ____ med. How will it react with it? Will they counter act so I’m not sick all the time?”

Her answer: Oh no, you will just be more sick from the side effects. Probably about double.

Well FUCK my life.

Yeah I’m dropping the f bomb.

Fan fucking tastic. Thanks doc. Because I went to you to fix my random once a week puking, now I get to feel like puking every minute, of every day, for two weeks.

Guh. Sometimes I just don’t want to wake up.

Oh yeah and I tried to dye my hair red and now I have red roots and black hair. Hah fucking hah. Jokes on me!