Recently when I wake up in the morning I have absolutely no recollection of my back injury until I try to sit up and I’m bombarded with pain. Those first few seconds are magical. However, as soon as I do try to move and the pain returns I’m instantly depressed.

I still have pain. I am still injured. I still have to take my pills.

I hate taking pills. I have a hard time tracking when I’ve taken them and I’m beginning to worry that I’ve been taking them so long that they’re losing their effectiveness.

I’ve been on pain killers and muscle relaxers for 11 days.  I don’t know how familiar any of you are with the side effects of pain killers but I’ve had to add ducolex to my daily regimen. So now I take 4-5 pills every morning instead of 2.

All I’ve been eating is garbage. I can’t go grocery shopping for lack of funds and my father doesn’t really buy real food. I’m bed ridden and eating pastries and cereal. I can feel my weight rising. I can’t even work out for fear of injuring my back further.

I’m just so tired of all this. I want to be healthy again.