The phone slips from a loose grip
Words were missed then, some apology
I didn’t want to tell you this
No, it’s just some guy she’s been hanging out with
I don’t know, the past couple weeks I guess
Well, thank you and hang up the phone
Let the funeral start
Hear the casket close
Let’s pin split-black ribbon to your overcoat
Well, laughter pours from under doors
In this house, I don’t understand that sound no more
Seems artificial, like a T.V. set

Well, haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
This weight it must be satisfied
You offer only one reply
You know not what you do
But you tear and tear your hair from roots
Of that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die
Well ha ha ha

I remember everything
The words we spoke on freezing South Street
And all those mornings watching you get ready for school
You combed your hair inside that mirror
The one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears
Something about those bright colors
would always make you feel better
But now we speak with ruined tongues
And the words we say aren’t meant for anyone
It’s just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance
But there was once you

You said you hate my suffering
And you understood
And you’d take care of me
You’d always be there
Well where are you now?

Haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh
The plans were never finalized
But left to hang like yarn and twine
Dangling before my eyes
As you tear and tear your hair from roots
Of that same head you have twice removed now
A lock of hair you said would prove
Our love would never die

And I sing and sing of awful things
The pleasure that my sadness brings
As my fingers press onto the strings
In yet another clumsy chord
Haligh, haligh, an awful lie
This weight would now be satisfied
I’m gonna give you only one reply
I know not who I am

But I talk in the mirror
To the stranger that appears
Our conversations are circles
Always one sided
Nothing is clear

Except we keep coming back
To this meaning that I lack
He says the choices were given
Now you must live them
Or just not live
But do you want that?

[Listen]

Sometimes I wonder if this is how Mike feels.

I’m coming up only to hold you under
I’m coming up only to show you wrong
And to know you is hard; we wonder
To know you all wrong; we warn.

Really too late to call,
So we wait for morning to wake you
That’s all we got
And to know me as hardly golden
Is to know me all wrong, they warn.

At every occasion, I’ll be ready for the funeral
At every occasion, once more, is called the funeral
Every occasion, know I’m ready for the funeral
At every occasion, oh, one million day funeral

I’m coming up only to show you down,
For I’m coming up only to show you wrong.

To the outside: the dead leaves, they’re on the lawn
For they don’t have trees to hang their own.

[Listen]

Today and yesterday.

Yesterday I worked. 9:30 to 6:30. Ugh long. Char showed up at like 5 and wanted me to go hang out with her (she had asked me the day before) and I said it really depended on how I felt after work. I ended up going. Mike was pissed because we had “plans” to chat online, but I don’t expect him to shun his social life for me so I’m not going to shun mine for him. Sounds harsh but it is what it is.

I went and played one game of beer pong but mostly just played pool at nick and char’s friends house with some of their friends. It was mellow. Got home at like 1am

Today I went and did errands and then hung out with Alison (aptos bakery manager) and Conor (aptos deli asst manager). Got lunch, played pool, watched conor skate, then went and got Alisons tattoo done. Now home.

That’s the short version. My left hand/forearm are throbbing from Alison squeezing it.

Today wasn’t a terrible day at work. Tourists. So many fucking tourists. “Oh well in Sacramento..” “Oh well in South Florida..”

You know what? I don’t give a fuck what they do anywhere but right here, in my god damned kiosk. If you don’t like it, go back from whence you came. Go home. GO HOME.

So enough about that.

My first braid, with the fresh water pearls on it (I think I mentioned it?) has somehow turned into a crazy dreadlock thing. I’m not a fan. I want it out of my hair. Hahaha. I’m sad. I made the braid too loose and I figured something and I figured something bad would happen but whatever. It’s going to take a bit to get it out, but I feel I will be successful.

I put the rainbow fluorite beads I got into a new braid. I like it a lot.

Also, I feel like someone hit me really hard in the head. Like one spot on my scalp hurts bad and I don’t know why. I didn’t get hit in the head (to my knowledge?) but maybe I did. So that’s weird. I hope it stops soon?

I finally mastered (or at least got the gist of) the pin-curl. My hair looks so pretty and legit when I do it.

Thursday I’m going to go with some friends to lunch and the tattoo parlor. My friend Alison is going to get some work done and I will be there to take pictures. Pool that evening, if everything goes well.

The end. xoxo