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Dead To Me

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dead to me

Well, so, actually, maybe, possibly…this is 100% the reason that I wanted a laptop. I can sit on my couch while binging nextflix and update my blog.

My bff and I were planning to be all caught up on Dead to Me long before season 2 came out but as you can clearly see, we did not get that accomplished. As I start the episode post rehab weekend with Judy and her new boyfriend who’s a detective investigating the place of Ted’s death I’m just so pleased that I’m able to update this thing.

Have I mentioned that the space bar on this laptop needs some work? I mean it’s really GREAT if I punch the keys, but I’m so accustomed to my mechanical keyboard at work that this little squishy rubber keyboard is hard to accomodate. I’m used to /light/ strokes, and *responsiveness*.

Regardless, I would not complain for my free laptop. Something I will complain about however is my really really shitty internet that only allows me to watch about 10 minutes of netflix before buffering for 6 minutes. I’m not making a lot of head way. We’ve called, complained, requested assistance more times than I can shake a stick at (ok so only 8 times), but my husband is at his last nerve. I’m also at my last nerve since I used most of my data on my phone tonight face timing with my bestie before dinner.

This really cannot go on. When M and I first moved here we were just ‘renting’ internet from our local library. Between him, myself, and our room-mate (read: michaels’ bff since he was 4) we were able to keep an ATT hot spot at the house. It was not ideal. BUT IT WAS RELIABLE. Century Link is currently unreliable.

We had someone come out to our house today and they updated some fucking cable and APPARENTLY (according to M) we were getting smoking hot internet, for about an hour and a half and now we get some semblance of a connection every 10 minutes for about 15 minutes.

I CANT LIVE THIS WAY.

I need internet. I’ve needed internet since I was fucking nine. No – I am not old – my Mom was just hip to the internet before it was even anything more than dialing in to your local BBS. Ok on second thought.. Yeah I’m old. My 35th is in less than six months and at this rate I wont be able to have any sort of big shin dig.

This little laptop is an HP Stream. It has an intel celeron N3060 process, 4GB system memory, and 32BG eMMC. I understand the memory part but the rest is lost on me. It’s running windows 10. If you have any ideas how I can lighten the load on this little trooper, I would appreciate it. Like what is eMMC? Is that my HDD? Should I put in a TB card? What’s the deal? I clearly can’t adjust the onboard, because I don’t know shit about laptops. Everything is tiny and scary and I can’t hang. I’ll be honest.

Did you know only 8% of hit and run accidents get solved? I didn’t either, maybe Dead to Me is lying. But if not, The More You Know. BECAUSE KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. :]

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

Younique Makeup Review

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What a mother fucker.

Seriously.

But wait, that’s just my opinion. Let me convince you.

My sister decided she wanted to try out selling Younique and that was cool. I was excited that I would be able to play with new makeup. I LOVE NEW MAKEUP.

After we both got pretty damn stoked on it she ordered her start up kit for $100 and signed up to be a Independent Younique Presenter. Ok, whatever, every direct sales makeup line has a name for it’s sales team. NEW MAKEUP.

I finally sat down and put it on. On one eye. I wanted to see how it stood up to my beloved Sephora. I have their Color Anthology kit and I fucking love it. It is the meat and potatoes of my makeup collection.

I used a purple. So I picked out from Younique the closest light, medium, and dark purple color to compare it to Sephora. I don’t have color names for either of these, so tough titties. I also used their 3D lashes on one eye, THREE LAYERS, and my revlon photoready and an eyelash curler on the others.

I had to use a ridiculous amount of Younique to actually compare to the richness of ONE SWIPE of my Sephora. Younique is loose powder, Sephora is pressed powder. Also the 3D lashes tried to blind me. I’m pretty sure the “fluff” scratched my eyeball. I’ve been wearing mascara for 16 years, this isn’t my first rodeo.

Please forgive the mixed lighting and quality of photo’s. I used everything at my disposal to give you a first hand look at the comparison.

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Can you tell a difference? I can’t. My sister couldn’t. My mother couldn’t. WHERE ARE MY 3D HOOKER EYELASHES?!

I’m pretty disappointed. Especially considering the amount of pigment I had to use from Younique vs Sephora. Younique is supposed to be pigment ONLY, but it went on light and was a pain in my ass to blend. A PAIN. Blending is supposed to be easy and smooth. Especially when you’re paying out the ass for a pot of pigment.

Oh yeah, and the 3D Lashes? It’s not mascara. I still had to use my OWN mascara. It should be an “Eyelash Enhancer.” I guess. It sure as fuck didn’t enhance mine.

 

 

Ignore the retarded look. I was trying to show off the eyelid. Also I have bad skin, who knew.

As you can see, it’s pretty fucking comparable.

BUT WAIT. WHATS THIS? The one on the right has a richer color?!

That’s because it’s fucking Sephora.

Mother. Fucking. Sephora.

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Look that’s my whole face. I used their blusher for lip color. I mixed it with chapstick. I don’t know, I was experimenting. But there’s the whole look again.

EVERY PICTURE HAS SEPHORA ON THE RIGHT SIDE.

The Younique is on the side my hair is parted, in case you don’t know left from right. Yes, that’s where my saggy eye lid is, get over it.

Moral of the story? Don’t waste your money. Don’t get sucked into their pyramid scheme. Buy Sephora because it’s amazing and fair priced. Or if you’re rich, get MAC. It’s even more awesome.

And worth the money.

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BONUS ORANGE PICTURE.