Pointless

Sometimes I feel like the break I’m attempting to take from being in a LDR just isn’t working. Nothing has changed and my emotions are right back where they were before I decided I needed a break. A break in words alone is no break at all.

Mike, I know you’re going to read this. So theres that. You will probably get upset and want to talk to me about this which is fine, but it’s my blog none the less so I’m going to keep on talking about this.

I still feel like I’m living some sort of weird double life. Mike-time and Rest-of-the-time. If I’m not at work I’m talking to Mike, camming with mike, playing games with mike. Whatever. It’s great and I love it, but it’s not what I need to be doing. I do not want to sever this all together, but maybe I should. My heart hurts. It hurts all the time.

For one reason or another and I don’t like it.

[Listen To Me]

Bonfire, The River, and Alcohol

Okay, so let me give you an explanation to the last 48 hours of my life.

Sunday (Yesterday): I get to work at 10. For some reason I’m working 10-7 instead of my usual 9:30 to 6:30 but whatever, I don’t care. I figure I can probably leave around 6:30 anyways. I go in and I’m talking to Stacie and apparently our Espresso Machine is broken.. Sort of. We have it rigged up to where it will work but she put in an emergency service call. I’m working with Katie. We have a blast together.

So we work and work and around 4pm the dude who’s going to fix our machine shows up. He’s way cool and from Sacramento. Turns out today was supposed to be his day off so he has to drive all the way down here to fix it. Lame. I feel pretty bad for him, especially after I found out he’s going to have to get a hotel in town and shit. I’m also having a bonfire tonight with all my homies, so I invite him up to my house to drink with us and at least make the most of his evening in Santa Cruz.

Later: I get home, joe picks me up after we do some shopping and we’re setting up tents. Nick and Char show up shortly after we do and we hang out and shit kick it. The party commences around 9pm. I proceed to get royally fucked up. That was the plan. It’s my house. Joe also gets a really good tequila drunk going. Good for him, he’s on leave for two weeks from the Navy and the whole point was for him to party with all his friends 😀

Today. We wake up around 9. I wake up in joe’s tent after freezing my ass off most of the night. I do not recall grabbing my blankets and making use of his tent, but whatever. Hahaha. I was drunk (read above). We all decide that we’re going to spend our day at the river.

We leave around noon after eating some left overs and having a drink to take the edge off. We make a pit stop at Andrea and Jesse’s house so that everyone can change into their bathing suits, then head to the river. Good times. Katie and I leave at 2:30 so we can go get our facials (at 3) and head into town. We run into brock and his friend at Pleasure Point. laugh about my drunkness the night before. Get our facials. Head back to the river. They had just thrown hamburgers on the bbq. We go back to swimming and sunbathing. Great times. We eat some delicious hamburgers and hot dogs and drink up more.

Head home around 6:30. It’s 8ish.. I’m home. I work tomorrow at 930am. Good times. I love my friends. I love Santa Cruz. Pictures will be up shortly.

NAAAAAAAARF

So I got impulsive and right now I have 5 minutes until I can wash the black dye out of my hair. Yeah I hate it. It hates me. But jesus for that first month I LOVE black hair. Especially now that I have skin color. Oh yes, happy day.

Enter Random Curse Words

Here is how my day went.

Pay day: I look at my bank account and see that I have $20. On pay day. Wtf? Apparently I got hit with Four over-draft charges. Uhm okay. So I have a lunch date with my bank.

Work: I find out from my coworker, not my boss who I spoke to, that I’m not getting my vacation next month. Oh gee thanks, considering it was already OKAY’D.  I also have to deal with Elizabeth from Aptos. I hate her, in case you didn’t know.

I got to see Joe, which brightened my day. Lunch was good.

Work sucked balls. They reversed one over draft charge, so that’s better than nothing.

I’m crapped out now though. Anger takes energy.

Much much

Too much.

I don’t know where to start. I kind of feel like I’ve grown a third eye or second head or something. I don’t know why I’m getting as much attention lately as I have been. Must be in the stars.

All of my spare time gets spent on Lensmoor. As in, Lensmoor.org. Go geek out with me please.